I was lying on my back with my feet up after practice today, I had just ran 200m repeats in the sun and my whole body felt rubbery and exhausted. While lying in the shade I was staring up into the sky and could see Starlings dancing around the treetops while chattering to each other. It was a peaceful moment of perfect tranquility. And then I begin to think about how "awake" I was; I feel as though I lost myself somewhere between March and the time the season started. I spent the whole summer in such a fog that I didn't get to enjoy any of the little moments which are probably just as important in the run of the season as the training itself.
This was a summer of bad ideas and poor decision making on my part, but I'm glad that I'm starting to get back on track. I think it was important to "mess up" so I could see what doesn't work. There's two weeks left of the summer and it's time to make the most of it. Maybe it's because I'm eating 3500+ calories a day most days but I feel as though I have a greater self awareness than I've had in a long time.
In the past I have fallen victim to trying to limit my calories under a certain number without looking at my activity level for the day, right now I'm taking a more relaxed approach where I'm eating as I feel hungry. Like today for example, for some reason I have been very hungry so I have eaten more than usual: it's 6:00pm and I have already had 3022kCal. This season I will be taking regular skinfold measurements which should give me a better idea if the weight I'm putting on is fat or muscle. Right now I'm guessing I'm about 164lb's but I'm sure close to five pounds of that is creatine/glycogen weight.
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